xylom [Profile] 2012/8/22 - 9:27:34
After her, I'm done looking for anyone else..
At least she will be able to be happy and live her life.
My depression doesn't matter, I'm just happy for her. I hope she finds the right person and forgets about me.
Wasn't going for anatomy, just emotion.
[anon]xylom 2012/8/22 - 10:3:27
and if anyone cares to basically know what happened because i dont feel like repeating it all, my rant from two nights ago.
i dont know what to do anymore.
[anon]dragon_fang 2012/8/22 - 10:52:43
First of all, your art is always amazing, and each piece conveys emotions brilliantly. I'm sorry you had to go through such trying times recently. One thing that will always be true about life is you get good and you get bad, but that doesn't necessarily mean you can do nothing about it. Ultimately, it is you who chooses what happens in your own life, but you can't give up. We all live through good and bad times. What defines us is the will to keep pressing forward through these times. Despite the pain, despite the sadness. All I'm trying to say is you should find happiness again, whether it's in the absence of a relationship or in a new one. Trust me, no one wants you to be sad, we all hope you can find a way to feel better soon. (Written on the PS3. I apologize for lack of proper spacing)
[anon]alkarious 2012/8/22 - 12:22:14
You know, I'm not exactly happy? I'm /trying/ to go about this with the best way possible, and I'm trying to get you to let loose. You need some time to yourself, and I don't want you spending this time wallowing in negative thoughts about yourself.
You are not a bad person, you were not a bad lover, and I'll always care about you. If we are meant to be together we will end up getting back together, but it's obvious we both need to work out our own personal problems first before attempting again. Taking a break does not mean, breaking it off and never looking back. It means gather yourself and relax. Get to know who you are, what you want, and what you are expecting. Going into something with no idea of what you want out of it, well it won't get you anywhere.
You are a beautiful girl, soon to be a beautiful woman. There's many things that you should get to experience, especially now that you are a Senior. It's the best year of High School, and you should live it up with your friends. Don't worry about dating, go out and have fun. Get to know new people, get to know yourself.
If you still feel the same way about me after you relax yourself, then by all means approach me again. I'll never think wrong of you, and you're going to be just fine. I want you to be okay with yourself, because there's nothing wrong with who you are nor what you like. We are different on certain terms, and I respect that it's something that can be worked out. Trust me, there's nothing that can't be worked out.
I guess it got to the point where I felt I was doing nothing for you, I couldn't make you smile, nor laugh, I couldn't even make you feel positive about the future. That's something I'm going to work on, something that I will try to better in doing. Something I'm going to do for myself, because if I can't even do such for myself than how can I expect to do so for you? I'm going to try my hardest to pick up what I lack, to make myself a better person. To get comfortable with who I am.
We both know my life isn't going to get any easier until changes are made, and so long as I'm going through this carrying you through my pain isn't something that will help us. We were in pain as is, and doubling that just isn't something we can both deal with right now. There's things to fix, and I obviously need to fix myself.
You matter more, and you need to think about yourself first. Not me, you love me and I understand that for the feeling was the same. But in doing so, you didn't love yourself. You are hurting, and no matter what I tried nothing was working. I wish I knew what to do, trust me.
The only thing that I could think of is to take a break to figure out ourselves before we try to jump into anything serious. You cannot expect to love me and be happy, when you don't love yourself. And I cannot expect to understand every conflicting emotion I have unless I try to solve them. It's not a matter of, the love is gone. Because darling, the love was never gone and it's still there. And neither of us know the future, so keep your head up and try to better what makes you hurt. And I will be doing the same.
If we are meant to be, we will end up together.
xylom [Profile] 2012/8/22 - 15:11:51
I wish you would have said this privately as I had told you before when I first say this, but I suppose I can't say much, considering I ranted out my emotions twice here.
You already know how I feel to what you said here, so I do not believe it is needed to write out all my feelings again since you know them all.
But so no one gets the wrong idea of what is going on, yes we did already talk after I read all this this morning. I'm just tired of my feelings getting muddled, and I'd rather not have others' opinions fly wild about what is going on in our life as it has happened before at other places. It's more embarrassing than anything else.
thank you, and I appreciate for what everyone has said, and I understand if opinions have been changed.